Life

I realized that I have not blogged for two weeks.  I apologize if you were really looking forward to a new blog post in the last two weeks.  Sometimes life just gets the best of us - including our time and energy.  But, I have most recently been convicted of how little I rely on the Lord for time and energy.

This morning I woke up to an e-mail saying that my first class was cancelled.  At first, I thought, "Oh, great!  Now I won't stay up as late studying for my biology test tomorrow!"  But after thinking a little bit more, I thought, "The Lord provided this extra time.  I should give it to Him."  Let me tell you how much He blessed me this morning.

A while back a friend sent me a link to a media file of a women's conference about being Biblical women.  I listened to the first 2 and so I began listening to the 3rd, the last one.  The speaker mentioned a website and the different 30-day challenges it has on it.  I immediately went to the website and found myself signing up to receive daily e-mails about being a Biblical woman.

This is going to be a challenge.  Each day there is a video that is about 25-30 minutes long.  I usually don't spend more than that with God at one time.  But I know that He wants me to spend hours with Him at a time.  I invited other women on our campus to join me in this challenge.  God wants all of us - He is pursuing us in an amazing way.  I don't want to be on this journey alone.  I want the community of women to become closer to God as a whole and individually.

God has also reignited my heart with prayer.  I often forget how much I LOVE to pray.  There is nothing better than sitting in the Lord's presence and talking and listening to Him.  It's so great.  A friend approached me and offered to help me in a movement that God has started with/in me on campus.  I'm grateful for this friend and for their love for the Lord.  Great things are about to happen.  Watch out, Fargo-Moorhead!  The Lord is ready to rock your world.

In just two days I will be in Miami, Florida with some fellow Concorida students.  We will be sharing the gospel with college students. Please keep us all in your prayers.  Right now, we seek patience, love, and kindness for each other.  We will be blogging during the week, so feel free to check that out often!  http://aweekinmiami.blogspot.com/

I pray that you have been blessed by the Lord, whether through brokenness or healing or great joy.  All three are great and essential parts of our walk with the Lord.

March Madness

Okay, I know that it's not March and it's only the 8th of February.  BUT I have thought of one of the best ideas I've ever had that I am going to challenge myself with in the month of March.

For starters, this will not seem extremely challenging for some.  It's also not really related to my faith in God (though I wouldn't be surprised if God used it to change me or grow me or whatever else it is that God always seems to do).  This challenge has something to do with the number of a specific item that I have.  To those of you that know me well, it won't be too hard to figure out what it is.

That's right.  In the month of March, I am challenging myself to wear a different pair of shoes every day.  Yes, I have that many pairs of shoes, if not more.

This all started when one of my professors commented that I own a lot of coats.  I found this odd because I own only 3 and wear only 2 of those.  The third that I don't often wear is for the blizzarding days that I still have to walk to class in.  I realized that I don't have a lot of coats, but I do have a lot of shoes---A LOT OF SHOES.

Therefore, in the month of March, I am going to wear a different pair of shoes on each of the 31 days.  This will probably extend into the beginning week or two of April as I really do own that many pairs.

Hold me accountable, friends!  I plan to try to take a picture and blog about each shoe each day.  Hopefully I can hold myself to that, too.  This is just a fun idea I had and I want to do for no reason other than for the fun of it. 

I hope you are all having a great week and that you are being challenged (for real) and pushed more and more towards our great, loving God.

Broken

Last week felt like complete darkness to me.  I felt like I was living in a world full of lies.  

"You can't do this by yourself."  

"You're not worthy of anything."  

"You're not smart enough to be in these classes."  

"You're not ready to become an adult."  

What always gets me is that these lies are true.  I repeat, these lies are true.  I can't live this life by myself.  I'm not worthy of a Savior's love.  I'm neither smart nor wise.  I'm not ready to become an adult.  I don't know that I'll ever be ready to become an adult.

Though these lies are true, there is a Truth that is even greater.  I can't live this life alone, but that's why God lives this life with me.  I'm not worthy of salvation or of love, but God loves me (and you) so much that He gave His life for me (and you).  I'm neither smart nor wise, but that's why I read the Bible, to gain knowledge and wisdom for living this life.  I'm not ready to become an adult, but I am ready to follow God and mature in my relationship with Him.

God changed my heart and my attitude a little bit (more like a lot) in church this morning.  River City started a series on Ecclesiastes.  Ecclesiastes basically says that everything in this world is completely meaningless.  Though this is true, it points to what is meaningful by pointing to what is meaningless.  For example, it is meaningless to be the smartest person in the world, but it is meaningful to find your identity in Jesus and to be wise in your words and actions in a way that causes you to live in a way that is more focused on Jesus and less focused on myself.

Vulernable

There are days that my heart is hard.  There are days that my heart is soft.  I wish I was more soft than hard.  I want to be vulnerable.

As a woman, it's not easy to openly share what's going on in my life.  I don't like ruining people's good days or making people feel like they can't share their problems after I share mine.  This leads to loneliness and a lot of hidden emotions.This is one of the biggest issues that women face.  We want to be sensitive to what others are feeling.  We love to listen to others problems without sharing our own.

My prayer the last few weeks has been to go outside of my box and share what's really on my heart.  It's also been to encourage others to share what's on their hearts.

This year, the guys on Concordia's campus have become extremely vulnerable with each other.  They thrive as a group when they share their struggles and joys and then encourage each other.  This is one of my deepest desires.

Though I have already made some big steps this week, tonight is going to be an even bigger one.  Tonight's girl's night at The Liberty could change lives; it could change my life.  I long for friendships and sisterhood with women who know and love the Lord.  That's all.  I have many great friends, but I long to know them and their hearts on a deeper level.  I know they share the same desires.

So tonight, Lord, is in your hands.  This weekend, this life, it's all Yours.  You alone have the power to soften hearts and make us more like You.  Make our desires Your desires.  Let us be open in sharing our lives.  I trust in You.  I love You.  I long for more of You.