A Time of Transition

I'm finished with my finals! The end of the semester leads into a time of transition.  It's always difficult to predict what Christmas break will be like.  Christmas and New Year's celebrations are one of my favorite parts of this time of year.  But it's all the time in between that sometimes feel awkward.  I've decided this: if the Lord has given me the next month to be away from school and stress, maybe I should ask Him what He wants me to do with this time.

This morning I spent 2 hours with Jesus.  It was by far the best 2 hours of my day.  I turned on some Hillsong worship music, and just prayed and prayed and prayed.  It was definitely a two-way conversation.  I talked and God talked.  I am always amazed by the way that the Lord replenishes my body, mind, and heart.  Coming out of the prayer room, I felt joy, peace, and a new alertness as if I was never tired before.  These were all great emotions, but the best isn't any of those.  My favorite was my heart's longing for more.

I can't wait to spend more and more time with the Lord.  It's like dating, really.  You see, when I was just a child, my Mom told me about this man named Jesus who died for me a long time ago.  I asked this man to become the center of my life.  I read His letter, written for all, called the Bible.  I longed to read it, and I read it often, even as a young child.  Our relationship has definitely not been perfect.  In fact, I have backstabbed this man many times.  Yet He always re-welcomes me with open arms and is excited to have me back.  I even doubted His existence once upon a time, but decided that I'd rather die to find out that He is real and to have lived a life that pleases Him.  Bible studies, churches, and other forms of community have encouraged me and contributed to my growth of faith.

Since beginning college, my faith has grown drastically.  I'm continuing to learn so much about God and love it!  There are definitely times when I feel like God kicks my butt and leaves me bruised.  But the great part is this: a) He doesn't leave me.  He's always there, no matter what. b)When God kicks my butt, it's because there's something in my heart that's not pleasing to Him that I wish to hold on to.  So really, God's kicking leads me to an even greater life.  It's like growing pains; actually, it is growing pains.

I have no idea why all of this just came from my hands.  I just started typing away and this is what happened.

But back to this time of transition.  I'm already feeling that.  When there's no one telling you when to work or what to do for class, you have a lot of control over your time.  Ultimately, I would love to just give all of my time, every single millisecond, to the Lord and ask Him to control it instead of me.  It is too true that no matter how many times I surrender to the Lord, I will still be in control of something.  This doesn't stop me from trying, but it does humble me and remind me that I am just a sinner saved by grace.