One of the Ten Commandments in Exodus says, "Do not lie." God is honest with us. We should be honest with Him. We should be honest with each other. So while I'm on the topic of honesty, I must confess that this is an area I sometimes struggle with. I'm not saying that I intentionally lie to people or change the truth. But, I am not honest about my emotions with most people. If I'm having a bad day and you ask me how I am, I will most likely say that I'm good or even great.
I want to break this habit. I want you to break this habit. Why are we satisfied with these answers? Why aren't we creating vulnerable environments and conversations with each other? Of course you're "good," but how is your heart? What have you been learning lately? What have you struggled with recently?
Maybe we need to be more intentional with the questions we ask each other along with the answers. When we sit down to visit with friends, the question "How are you?" is not going to lead to meaningful conversation. What questions should we ask? That, to be honest, I am not sure of. All I know is that I wish I didn't ask this basic question and that I didn't answer with the basic answers.
Be real. Be honest.
I have also realized that not sharing everything can be considered not being honest. There are some things in life that are not appropriate to share with every single person. In such cases, that is not being dishonest, but is guarding the other's heart and mind. There are many times that people are not told all of the information that they should be. Unfortunately, this causes great damage in relationships. Honesty means telling people the information they need to know, even if it is sad, disappointing, or unexpected.
I'm learning that honesty is difficult. But, thank the Father in Heaven, we don't have to do it all on our own. Jesus was honest with every person He talked to. God is honest with us. He tells us that not believing in Him leads to eternal death, but that believing in Him and following Him leads to eternal life. He tells us when we are doing things that are wrong and when we are pleasing Him. He tells us all we need to know. And, by believing in God and following Him, we are given the power of the Holy Spirit to live and speak honestly.
Thanks for sharing!! This is a great topic AND post.
ReplyDeleteWhere is the line between being honest and recognizing that there are some things we refrain from sharing - we refrain out of discernment - in faithfulness and truth that he Lord is doing refinement? I know this is deep but I think about this a lot, actually!! (you'd never know, eh!)
I know honesty is not only crucial, but valued in hopes to create trust and vulnerability in community. There's a difference, though, with being honest and filtering. What are your thoughts?
I think it all depends on the situation and the people who you are with. Sometimes there are acquaitences and friends in our lives with whom we can share everything. There are other times where we encounter friends and acquaitences with whom we don't share everything, but we can still be honest with. For example, you might be honest in saying that life has been very difficult recently and that you're struggling a lot, but you may not go beyond that. Other times you might open up more and share more details about what is going on. Both responses are honest and real. I don't know that there is an exact line between the two. God doesn't always make these kind of things clear. The most important thing, I think, is that we listen to and follow where God leads our conversations with people, both in one-on-ones and in groups.
Delete