Community - Identity - Humility

These are the three things God has taught me about a lot this week.  It's been one of those weeks when God encourages you, but not in the happy, uplifting encouraging ways.  Instead, He's been encouraging me by breaking off every ounce of pride in me.

It's painful.

Every single day this week, I have been convicted of not living in my identity.

When I don't live in my identity (Christ), I don't live with humility. I'm prideful and arrogant, the exact opposite of a woman of God.  When I don't live with humility, my community, the united body of Christ, suffers.  It suffers because one of it's parts isn't operating as it was created to.

I'm exhausted.  I was hoping this week would be restful as it was Concordia's spring break, so my schedule wasn't filled with all the usual activities.  However, this week was the opposite of restful.  I'm tired of not believing in God enough so that I don't believe in myself.  I'm tired of unintentionally putting God on the back burner every day.  

I'm ready for a change.

Of heart. Of mind. Of spirit.

I'm ready to be refreshed and renewed.

Rest. Serve. Repeat.

I'm continually learning what life with and in Jesus looks like. I believe that each season and chapter may be different, but that there are some fundamental aspects that don't change. One is the need to rest.

I'm reading a book title Grace Walk, by Steve McVey. Through this, I am learning that 1. I must be broken and brought to the end of myself in order to live fully in the freedom and grace of Christ, and 2. I must live a balance of rest and service.

Luke 10:38-42 says: As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

McVey notes that Martha was distracted from Jesus by serving Jesus. He comments on this revelation in his own life, "It was a startling revelation in my own life when the Holy Spirit showed me that I had become more preoccupied with the work of ministry than with the One who called me to it. Busyness in serving Christ can block intimacy with Him."

I see this in my own life. I love pouring into women, speaking truth over the body, and serving others in the manus forms of service. It is difficult for me to withdraw from the crowds of people and seek Jesus, who has called me to this ministry. There are times where I'm like Mary, resting in The Lord's presence. And there are times that I'm like Martha, too busy serving The Lord to bask in His glory.

Rest and service are necessary to build the Kingdom. Both are needed to fully experience God. Jesus rested and served. Looking at my own life, I see that my service to the body is much fruitful when I first spend a substantial amount of time resting in The Lord. (By a substantial amount of time, I mean at least an hour, often times more.) Time spent with God leads to an overflowing of the Spirit inside me, which leads to me serving in the name of Jesus. Sometimes this service is intentional, sometimes it's something that just happens. Either way, it's the combination of resting and serving that builds a more it image relationship with Jesus for both myself (rest) and for others (serve).

There must be a balance of resting and serving. If I only rested, I may have an intimate relationship with The Lord, but others wouldn't be served. If I only served others, they may be encouraged to seek intimacy with Jesus, but my relationship with Him would be lacking. I must rest and serve each and every day. I must spend quality time with my Savior and then serve Him by serving others in the ministry He has placed me in.

Prophecies, Jesus, and Obedient Joseph

There's something so unique about the first years of Jesus' life. For starters, He fulfilled at least 3 prophecies: 1. Born of a virgin. 2. Born in Bethlehem. 3. Born in the lineage of Abraham and David. A fourth prophecy was fulfilled more so by King Herod when he killed all the young boys in order to try to kill Jesus.

Obviously these fulfillments alone are great. I'm so very thankful that the Messiah came and that through Him, we have salvation, life, and freedom. But, I realized something awesome about Joseph today when I was studying the first two chapters of the book of Matthew.

When Joseph first heard that Mary was pregnant, he was going to quietly end their engagement so that no one would be put to shame. What a respectful, honorable man of God! He loved Mary, no doubt, and yet he was willing to sacrifice that so that both of them would be just in their actions. Wow.

Secondly, Joseph was obedient to The Lord. He was definitely more obedient and trusting in The Lord than I am. Just in Matthew 2:13-23, he moves Mary, Jesus, and himself three times just because an angel appeared to him and told him to.

Now, I can imagine that Joseph had some hesitations. I think that I would be like, "Really, God? First you make me the earthly father of a son that is fully You and fully human. Now, you want me to protect him by moving to these far away places? Like, for real You want me to do that?"

This may seem a bit ridiculous, (because, let's be real, I often say ridiculous things that make no sense, not even to me), but think of the pressure Joseph must have felt. And, this happened three times just within the first few years of Jesus' life on earth. Crazy.

After I realized how faithful, and trusting Joseph must have been toward God, I asked myself if I would do the same. If an angel of The Lord appeared to me and told me to pack up and move away for my safety, would I? Would I take the God of the universe seriously enough to obey what would seem like a crazy, spontaneous move? In all honesty, I'm not sure that I would right now. I don't have my own family, so I don't know if I would do it to protect my husband or children, either. (That's a question for another season of life.)

The point is this: I don't know if I would pack up and move or not. But, I should be willing to no matter what. My heart should always be obedient to The Lord. I'm thankful that God is faithful to transform my heart into one that is obedient and willing to submit to the will of God - no matter what He asks me to do.

I feel like I need to end this post with some sort of alter call or something. (I grew up in a Pentecostal church - there's rarely a service without some sort of alter call.) But, anyway, where is your heart? What is God calling you to do? Is it challenging for you to obey and submit to Him? Maybe He's not calling us to move around and protect ourselves and our families, but maybe He is challenging us in a different way. I'm not sure what that is in your life, but I have a feeling you do know. God tells us to do things that we think are absolutely crazy. The beauty of listening to God is the opportunity to know Him in a new way and to grow in a new area. How awesome is our King!

Overdue Blog Post

I realized this morning that I haven't blogged in four months. FOUR MONTHS. A whole semester of college has passed without me blogging even one time. Hopefully I can keep this short and not go on a bunch of random tangents. I all honesty, the only reason I'm even on this right now is because I woke up at 4 and have yet to fall back asleep. It's after 6 now.

Anyway, my life has changed drastically this semester. I have grown even more. The Lord taught me the importance of resting in Him. Life is busy and chaotic, which is all the more reason to sit in His presence and be filled.

I have officially completed all elementary methods courses. This is a big milestone. It wasn't near as difficult as I thought it would be, but it was definitely just as busy as I expected. I learned how much I love teaching - it's definitely one of my passions. Watching kids learn and understand concepts that I barely know and understand is, simple stated, fun and inspiring. And after the heart-breaking elementary school shooting in Connecticut, my desire to teach and build a safe, welcoming community in my classroom has only grown.

Leading the Remedy has been such a sweet blessing. I've been humbled time and time again. God provides so much - more than we will ever know. He is always providing a space. More importantly, He is bringing students to Him. I want to say that around 10 students began a personal relationship with Jesus at the Remedy this semester. That's about one person per week. The Lord is building His Kingdom on Concordia's campus.

I've also been blessed to be on the Peer Team with Cru. My main role is to disciple four women. I'll admit that discipling isn't one of my strengths, but God is faithful to teach me and show me what that looks like.

Now, on Christmas break, I'm looking forward to continuing my "week of rest" at my house in Moorhead. I've been cleaning, organizing, and rearranging. It's refreshing and renewing. I feel myself entering a new season. I have some ideas of what may happen in this season, but I'll share those in another post.

TCX is just a week and a half away. I'm very excited to go to this conference with Cru and spend part of my break in community with some of my greatest brothers and sisters in Christ. I'm ready for what God wants to teach me. I'm even more ready to share it all next semester when my last semester of college begins.